21 days

“Hearts don’t break around here”

They say it takes you 21 days to form a new habit. I tried it. Counting up the days ‘til the 21st. Hoping it would really help me eat healthier or drink more water.

But they don’t tell you how long it takes for one person to break out of a habit. Because I feel guilty that I still miss you. I feel so bad, I pity myself to be honest. Grossed out by the fact that after five months of nothing my mind can’t stop craving you. My mind. That’s the worst part. I can’t go around making jokes about my heart being stupid. I can’t pretend “it’s only human”. I can’t let my friends tell me it’s normal to feel my heart fluttering every time I hear your name. It’s so stressful. I had nightmares of seeing you. Excuses I made even in a dream to be mesmerised by your eyes and your smile. To hear you laugh. To feel you’re real.

Don’t form habits. Don’t let a random anybody step in your heart and shatter it. What’s yours is yours. Protect it and tresure it. Be careful what you count up to.

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